Take a breath and start all over again

So, its been quite awhile since I've posted, but lets face it... I've been BUSY STUDYING!!!!! all the time, every day (of course intermixed with freaking out). But, Mini 1 is over, and now I know what to expect for the next one. Basically, what everyone already said- "study the packets." And they were not kidding- at all... Nit picky freaking questions from once mentioned slides (if mentioned at all) and I was like- WHAT THE HELL.... really... what the hell. I may have actually said that during the test. Or at least muttered it- and then laughed. Which I am proud of myself for doing... not knowing an answer and laughing instead of having a meltdown because I did not know an answer. :-)

I tried to pump myself up before the test by listening to a massive amount of Hoku- Perfect Day- until my computer was out of batteries and I could no longer access youtube. Then I thought of any other songs that made me happy, and just thought of those going to the test, before the test, during the test... and AFTER the test I had one of the best workouts I had had in a long time. Just walked out all of the stress that was lingering within me.

It is unfortunate that we cant have even a little reprieve of studying though- Histology Lab exam is on Friday and I need to rock the shit out of it. 7% of my grade that I need to be an A! And then next week we have our first anatomy lab practical... which will most likely SUCK... because thats where they can ask what all of the little origins and insertions are and what is this nerve and what is this artery/vein... and let me tell you.... THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME... ALL OF THEM! veins, arteries, nerves... I want to go back and dissect the cat in high school again that has the blue and red silicone crap pumped into its arteries and veins so you know which is which... THOSE were the days. *sigh*

I tried mediasite-ing stuff today (which is where you can watch all of your lectures online). I'm not sure if I'm sold on it yet. Considering its 5 oclock and I still havent technically finished mediasite-ing yet.... BUT it was definitely useful for anatomy... They talk so fast that you try to write something down and you've already missed it. This way I can pause them and write it down, and then play it again.

The only draw back is that the people that go to class will all be done by noon... and I would get done at 1- if I started right at 9 and then didnt take any breaks or anything. It would take serious diligence, but if I want to go to the Bahamas, I need to start doing it.

Side note- Spare tires are hard to deflate... but I was walking home to shower after the gym this morning, and this guy on his front porch yelled "looking good!" which made me happy. pretty sure I said "getting there." Which I am. I dont notice it, but my friends say that I look taller and smaller at the waist. :-) It was a personal decision.... I am trying to be a doctor here... and I will NOT be a big ole fat doctor that tells my patients that they need to go on a diet and start exercising because they are unhealthy... nope... nope nope nope... It would be the same reason that if I smoked, I would stop because its unhealthy and you are trying to be a DOCTOR??!?!? and you smoke?!?!?! Some people... I just dont get it.

Well, now that I have sufficiently managed to not study for quite some time, I need to finish watching lecture and then make some sort of master document for my histology lab exam so I can ROCK IT!!!!

Also, Thank You for everybody that said a prayer for me and believed that I can do this. Thats probably my biggest problem... not believing in myself (so it helps that everyone else seems to believing in me for me... and I will do my ABSOLUTE BEST not to let you down.)

Much love,
Kristen